Hello and welcome to Joyful in the Midst.
I knew that when I became a mom my life would change and I had this idea in my head of how things would go; I’d give birth to two beautiful and healthy girls at 40 weeks and we’d all live happily ever after, but you know what they say: “If you want to make God laugh. tell Him your plans.” God definitely had other plans. 7 weeks ago my husband and I welcomed our twin daughters into the world, they were 13 weeks early. They are currently undergoing care in the NICU and each day is a rollercoaster. In general we have more good days than bad ones and the girls have proven they are both fighters, but there is still a long road ahead of us.  This experience is one of the toughest and s things I have ever lived through in my entire life, but somehow, through it all, I am experiencing joy.

Seems insane right? How is it possible to experience joy at the exact same time as crippling fear?  I don’t know how it works, but whenever I stop to assess how I am feeling in a given situation, I can often sense joy in the background. It sits underneath my other emotions waiting to be brought to the surface. It’s a conscious choice that I have to make in each of those moments though: Choose fear or choose joy. It’s important to make the distinction that joy is different than happiness, you don’t have to be happy to experience joy.  Kay Warren once described joy as “the settled assurance that God is in control of all the details of my life, the quiet confidence that ultimately everything is going to be alright, and the determined choice to praise God in every situation.”  This means that whatever is going on in my life, whatever else I am feeling or experiencing, I can experience joy.  Don’t get me wrong, this is way easier said than done. More often than not, when I am in the middle of an emotionally charged situation I don’t stop to assess my feelings, I simply choose to focus on the fear or the pain or the grief but, after a while, I remember that God is in control of every little detail and when I put my attention on that, I am learning that it’s possible to find joy in the midst.


5 thoughts on “Welcome!

  1. My heart and thoughts are with you. I am sorry I have not been a better support. As you know we too have had our challenges this last two years with our Jared and I understand much of what you’re saying. For me The biggest breakthrough was when I felt that I had enough Faith to heal Jared of leukemia fourth stage. When an overwhelming thought came to me yes but do you have enough faith to put it in gods hands. Do you have enough faith to know that he sees the whole picture. God loves those two little girls even more than you do and I know that he is taking care of them. The other day I thought about Jared when he was going through so much pain and he told me, mom sometimes someone comes and takes my place and I don’t even feel the pain . I truly believe after experiencing coming very close to losing my son many times that they truly are not alone I truly believe they are not alone they will be comforted and carried on this difficult path. Our fight with Jared has not ended and this year we have faced many challenges. Again we are so grateful because we have survived and he is still with us. I don’t know you very well but it is one of my goals in the future to get to know you and Vince much better. We love you we pray for you and we think about you all the time! Please keep writing. And please put on all the pictures you can. love Ginger


    1. Thanks Ginger. Knowing you guys are thinking of us and praying for us and the girls is extremely supportive! It’s probably one of the most important things anyone can do right now. Motherhood is tough on its own but when your child(ren) is sick it’s even more difficult. You learn pretty quickly how to not take anything for granted. I keep you guys in my prayers as well.


  2. I know that I have not talked to you that often at church, and sometimes it is because I am just busy or caught up in life, but I follow your posts all the time on Facebook and now on this sight. I am continually praying for the girls and both of you for strength and for our Father’s love. Bill and I will continue to keep your family in our hearts and in our prayers, and hopefully we can be a line of support for you. We think of you often.


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